should I become selfish...

I'm sure folks are tard of hearing about my knee.  I know Im tard of writing about it. But I had another setback yesterday.  But that's not the point of this entry.  Let me just start from the beginning.  I have had knee trouble for years.  I twisted my right knee severely about 10 yeas ago (torn meniscus)  and ended up having it scoped.  I had to give up running and even long hikes were a problem but I could still manage if I didn't overdo it. I finally discovered biking at age 44 and could get in a good workout without too much stress on my knee.  However, pulling the mountain would sometimes make it sore for a few days. Anyways, last fall a friend borrowed my kayak.  He was actually doing it as a favor for a friend of his who did not have a good fishing kayak.  Then a day later my sister-in-law calls wanting to go kayaking.  She has bought a kayak for her granddaughter but needs more so the whole family can go.  I have 3 kayaks and a canoe so I was more than happy to oblige.  I call up my buddy and tell him I'm coming to git my kayak. It is still in his pickup so I just back up near it and commence to taking it off his truck and loading it onto mine.  I somehow wreck my left knee.  I can barely walk.  I go around to where he is grilling and tell him bye.  By the time I get all the kayaks and canoes loaded onto 2 pickups I am in severe pain but go on down to the lake and go kayaking with everyone.

After a few weeks of hobbling around I go to a doctor and he says it is a torn meniscus.  I have the surgery and go through rehab.  Come spring I am progressing nicely, I can walk to the holler and ride my bike if I take it easy.  Then my dad had some wind damage to his shed.  He decided to put a new tin roof on it and ask me if I am well enough to help. I am pretty sure I am so we work on it for 2 days.  It was real sore after the first day but I figured it was just because I had not done an honest days work in a long time. After the second day it is giving me fits.  I rest it a couple of weeks and it seems better so decide to walk to the holler.   Big mistake. rest it again and then ride my bike up to Grant one day.  That was not too bad so a few weeks later I take another walk to the holler.  Knee felt great  but I am wiped out so after resting a few hours I decide to go again because I'm anxious to git back into shape. That was not the smartest move I ever made.  I hobbled around a few weeks trying to get it well enough for the upcoming recumbent rally I had been wanting to attend ever since missing last years due to a graduation I had to attend.  I managed to go to the rally and did the 11 mile ride around Cades Cove and did not hurt the knee.

 A week later we are having a Memorial Day celebration over a my aunts.  I decide to wear my knee brace.  I am good and sit out the volleyball game.  Then I play a game of around the world but it is not much fun (in other words, I stink up the joint).  I did not realize your shot depended on your legs so much but I did not hurt my knee just shooting.  I sat out the game of gotcha and 21 because they involve a lot of moving around.   After that they played toss the water balloon.  I'm sitting in the shade watching when my aunt decides she is tard and ask me to take her place.  It is an innocent looking game so I decide it will be OK.  Only I forgot about my knee for half a second and bent and reached for one balloon toss that was low and out in front of me.  I heard and felt a popping sound in my knee.  I was immediately back liming again. After a painful and restless night last night I got up in a fowl mood this morning. I probably took it out on the wife but at least I wasn't stomping around...It's hard to stomp around on a bad leg.  But regardless, I owe her an apology.

 So my dilemma, since I seem to hurt my leg while trying to be a good friend, son, nephew etc, should I just become selfish.  Of course I have to weigh this against the fact that my friend has helped me do so many things.  Work on my bike, helped me with an electrical problem in the house.  My dad tilled and hoed my garden last year while I was healing from a broken collar bone.  Both my brother-in-laws mowed my grass while I was unable too.  I guess I'm just very frustrated right now. I know I should just be thankful I can still walk, I know many folks would gladly trade their problems for mine.Im going to rest the knee a few days and re evaluate my situation.  My wife says I should just get a knee replacement.  I'm leary of any more surgery.  I know a guy who had several knee surgeries including  a replacement surgery and is now in danger of loosing his leg.  However, my mom and father-in-law both had it and seem to be doing fine.  My father-in-law is actually doing great.